Here’s what resonated with me most: I am in control of my experience. Starting in a new position with a new company, I am more surprised than I should be that a lot of the same stories are going through my head, about people, about my reactions. It’s so easy to slip into old patterns.
And a lot of times, we want it to be someone else’s fault. If only that person would have … I only reacted that way because they … And then we tell ourselves that our reaction was justified. Anyone else in that situation would have done it, if I did it, which I didn’t right? We’re all just living on Cell Block C.
Here’s the thing, unless you are working with bullies or narcissists, chances are, no one is coming at your work relationship with ill intent. The people you work with aren’t out to get you. Likely, they are just trying to get through the day like you are (and likely wish you well). And they might even be thinking the same thing about you! Is the story we tell ourselves and we are in complete control of that story.
Karlyn’s book walks through changing your mindset, changing the story you tell yourself as you are driving to work, as you walk past co-workers laughing at their desk (not about you, really), when something bad happens, when the boss disagrees with you, when you get constructive feedback (not mean feedback, but true constructive feedback. Putting a positive spin on the story you tell yourself around any of these events will instantly improve your experience.
This is not an easy process. I found myself falling into those patterns again and was able to recognize and change the story. Karlyn’s book has exercises throughout to help you practice. Full disclosure: I haven’t go through them yet. For my first read, I simply read through the book. I am planning to go through it again in 2019 and work the exercises. Maybe I’ll share more once I’ve done that …
As Eleanor Roosevelt said: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
This book will help you stop giving consent.
This book is about holding yourself accountable to create a positive work experience, understanding that no one can inflict a negative experience on you if you refuse to buy into it. Dr. Karlyn Borysenko